forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
