His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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