There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
