My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
