good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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