My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
