i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My ass is underappreciated
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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