Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
