Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
