forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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