Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
