if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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