Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
