A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
