I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
