Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
