just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
