you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
