I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
