best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
