haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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