i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
