operation have a gay friend backfired
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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