his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize