New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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