i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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