I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He shit in the fireplace
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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