It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
