You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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