I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
