ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
