I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
