Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
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