I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
