dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
