fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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