I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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