Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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