Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
