From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize