im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She's the barista slut.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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