i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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