he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
