actually, I'm a sock model
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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