Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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