My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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