Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize
