hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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