Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
