Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
