Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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