So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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