Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
