Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
