he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
