Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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