Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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