Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
