he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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