It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize