i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
