hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
