shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize