Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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