O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
