I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
